


Silence

by Walruspants



Category: Lunch Club, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jschlatt is mean, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, and Schlatt is nice at the end too, everyone else is nice tho, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walruspants/pseuds/Walruspants
Summary: Travis has selective mutism, but the rest of the group doesn't know about it. What will happen when the others start to suspect something is wrong with him?
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I have selective mutism, and I sort of felt like projecting it onto a person that I watch a lot.

I entered the Discord call, a little bit hesitantly. "Hey, Travis!" My friends exclaimed. "Uhh...hi, guys!" I quietly responded. The call continued, with me not saying much, as usual. Once the call ended, I realized that my heart was racing. I slowly slunk into my bed. God, why couldn't I ever just talk to my friends without worrying so much? At least they didn't seem to notice.  


When I woke up, I saw that I had and email from Carson. I skimmed through it quickly. Oh, no. He wanted all of Lunch Club to live in the same house? I responded by saying that I was fine with it, although something told me that it would end badly.  


I called Cooper, wanting to know what he thought of Carson's idea. "I'm really excited about it! Aren't you, Trav?" " Yeah, we can talk to each other and do stuff together all the time!" I responded. We kept talking about it for a few minutes until we both hung up. I didn't tell him that I was actually terrified of doing it. I mean, I was perfectly fine just talking to one or two people at a time, but anymore than that, even if they weren't actually in the conversation or if they were all my friends, my brain and heart starting going wild, and my throat seemingly closed up.  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A few weeks later, we had all moved into the house. I occasionally had conversations with the others, but I mainly stayed up in my room so that I didn't have to talk to everyone.  


I quietly walked downstairs to grab a snack. The others were watching some dumb movie that I didn't care about. "Y'wanna watch a movie with us, Travis?" Schlatt asked. I panicked a bit when I saw that everyone was looking at me, so I quickly shook my head "no", grabbed a few cookies and ran up the stairs.  


"You know what I've been thinking about?" I heard Charlie ask quietly. I slowly when back down a few steps, but made sure that they couldn't see me. "Travis pretty much just talks to us one at a time, and never in a group..." He continued. "Yeah, that is pretty weird, isn't it?" Noah replied.  


I silently gasped, and ran up into my room. I mean, I know that I haven't told anyone about my selective mutism, not even Cooper, who I was closest to, but I was still so upset that they would, y'know, say something like that about me. And again, I know that they didn't know that I was there, but I was also sad that they would say that about anybody! I started sob quietly, and hid under the blanket.  



	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Travis, come down here!" Schlatt yelled from downstairs. I looked at my alarm clock. Why did they want me down there at 8 am? I put a shirt on and trotted down the stairs. I stopped in my tracks once I saw that the rest of the group was gathered at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, Trav, we need to, um, talk about something..." Ted whispered. (Although, it was a fairly loud whisper) I felt myself start to shake, because I knew what they were going to ask me.

"So, Travis, how come you don't-" Carson started, but he was interrupted by Schlatt. "Why don't you ever join us, huh? You're always in your room, completely avoiding us!" There was anger in his voice. "You never talk to all of us, you just whisper stuff to Cooper and occasionally make small talk to us!" Schlatt was almost screaming at this point. Everyone else looked shocked, but Schlatt just stared at me angrily.

I felt my eyes start to water, and then tears start to stream down my face. "Schlatt, what the hell is wrong with you?!?" Charlie growled. I ran back up the stairs and sat on my bed, hands covering my eyes. A minute later, I heard someone knock on my door. "T-Travis?" Cooper asked softly. "What do you want?" I sobbed. "I, uh, just want to talk to you, and make sure that you're okay..." "Come in, I guess" I sighed. The door slowly creaked open, and Cooper walked over to me, a worried look on his face.

"Look, Travis, I-I'm sorry about what Schlatt said, alright? I mean, I know that I can't control him, but... I mean, you know, in case he doesn't apologize himself, I'm doing it for him." "Uhm, thanks Coopie, I guess..." I whispered. "Well, uh, I mean, I guess this is kind of inappropriate, but... why DON'T you talk to all of us in a group?" Cooper questioned in a whisper.  


I looked up at him, my face hot from the tears. I stared at him, confused, for a couple seconds, before I starting crying again. "Oh, no, Travis, I'm sorry, so so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you-" he said, putting his hand on my back. "JUST GO AWAY!" I screamed at him, pulling his hand off of me. Cooper sighed, then walked out of the room.  


"You've fucking ruined him, Schlatt!" Cooper screeched from downstairs. "Well, Cooper, I just wanted to know why he acted so fucking strange!" Schlatt retorted. I started crying even harder. Schlatt called me strange. STRANGE. "Hey, you two, stop fighting!" Noah exclaimed. "Well, we wouldn't BE fighting if HE hadn't yelled at Travis!" Cooper snarled. "Please, just calm down, guys!" Ted snapped.  


I realized that my friends were fighting about me. I got mad at myself. Why did I have to be born with selective mutism? Why did I have to make my friends fight? I felt that I should never see them again. I just felt like banging my head into a wall till I was bleeding, maybe then they would stop fighting. God, why was I thinking like this? 

"Go and apologize to him, Schlatt! Please!" Cooper pleaded. There was a hint of sadness in his voice. "Not. Until. He. Fucking. Tells. Me. Why. He. Acts. So. Fucking. Retarded." Retarded? Schlatt called me retarded? I loudly sobbed. I guess they must of heard it, because I heard a stomp. "Did you hear that, huh? Did you hear that? Why the fuck would you call him retarded?" Cooper's voice raised as he continued talking.  


"ALRIGHT! Schlatt, you'd better fucking apologize to Travis, alright? You started this, now you go and end it!" Carson commanded. "Ugh, fine..." Schlatt groaned. I heard him start to walk up the steps.  


He opened the door, without knocking. "Hey, Travis! Hey! Up here!" Schlatt barked. I slowly rose my head up to look at him. "Alright, listen, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry!" He said, although he definitely didn't sound genuine. "We both know that you don't mean that, Schlatt." I said, my voice cracking.  


"Whatever, Travis! Just tell me what the hell is wrong with you!" He ordered. "SCHLATT!" Cooper yelled while running up the stairs. "Just get out of here, alright? Out!" He said angrily. Schlatt stomped out of the room and down the stairs.  


"Oh my fucking God, I'm terribly sorry, Trav!" Cooper apologized. I took in a deep breath."You-you know what, C-Cooper? I-I think I'll tell you guys about what's... 'wrong' with me, okay? Go tell th-the others, I think I'll be good in an hour or so, o-okay?" I admitted. "Oh, uh, well, that's very brave of you, Travis! I'll tell the others, alright, and we'll wait for you, and I PROMISE that we won't make fun of you, okay?" Cooper whispered. I nodded happily, and heard Cooper race down the stairs.  



	3. Chapter 3

I was fairly certain that I had pretty much run out of tears. My clock read "9:10". I got myself together, then went down the stairs. I had practiced what I was going to say in my head, but I was still very nervous. I know that Cooper promised that they wouldn't say anything mean, but I was still afraid that they would think that I was lying about my condition.  


I heard muffled whispering as I came down, which made me start to second guess myself. "Well, Travis, ya gonna tell us what's wrong with your brain?" Schlatt asked impatiently. Cooper punched him in the shoulder, which made me feel a little better. I started to shake a tiny bit, and I felt my heart start to speed up and my throat start to close.  


I took a few deep breaths, then opened my mouth. "I, uh... I have selective mutism, alright?" I spat out. They all looked at me weird, and there was an awkward silence for a few seconds. Eventually, though, Cooper spoke up. "What's that, Trav?"  


"It means that, uhm... i-it's hard for me to, y'know, uh... talk to people, and to make friends. So, uh, I must admit, you guys are, uh, pretty much my only friends..." Tears were threatening to come down my face again. I saw everyone else's faces turn to shock, and I even saw some regret on Schlatt's face.  


"Awh, Travis, that's terrible!" Cooper said as he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me, which made me feel so... happy. I felt more arms around me, and realized that all the others were hugging me, too. I sniffled a little bit, and realized that I was crying tears of joy.  


After they all let go of me, they were all smiling, and I saw that Cooper was starting to cry a bit. "It's alright, Cooper..." I whispered to him. "God, Travis, I know, but... I feel... terrible, y'know? I mean, I would never of guessed that-" "I told you, Coop, it's fine..."  


Noah put his hand on my shoulder. "So, I mean, uh, have you been going through this your whole life?" He asked awkwardly. I nodded my head, and his mouth formed a slight pout. "Holy shit, that fucking sucks..." He sighed. "Yeah, it does, heh..." I whispered.  


"Well, Travis, don't worry, okay? We'll support you, no matter what." Charlie said to me. "Thanks, guys... I-I'm sorry for not telling you until now..." I admitted. "Don't apologize, Travis!" Cooper scolded. "Admitting that you have, uh, selective mutism, right? Yeah, admitting that you have that is very brave of you, buddy!"  


I grinned eagerly. I was so happy that they were so supportive of me!  



	4. Epilogue

It had been a few months since I told the group about my condition. I had gotten into a great deal about what my life was like with selective mutism, since the others had pressured me to. Schlatt had apologized to me pretty much everyday, although it had gotten a little repetitive by this point.  


The others had researched selective mutism themselves. They understood it a lot now, and they all advocated for me. They had even written a list about what made me feel uncomfortable, and tried to keep me out of those situations.  


Also, I had gotten used to being in Lunch Club, and I started to join in on group conversations, where as a few months ago, I would never of thought of doing that. I was also feeling better about myself, since I had posted about my selective mutism on Twitter, and all of my friends and fans were very supportive. I even found out that some of them had it as well, which really comforted me in knowing that I wasn't alone.  



End file.
